Leena had hoped either Captain Janeway or Commander Chakotay held
a few keys to deciphering Tom's behaviour; they were the only people on
the ship who had any past dealings with him prior to Voyager. Neither
one proved very helpful, although neither one had much time to talk to
her; both were quite preoccupied with contacting various sects of the
Kazon in an effort to open negotiations for a treaty. Between the
captain's suppositions about his family history and Chakotay's
introspection on his stint as a member of the Maquis, though, there was
nothing about Tom that Leena didn't already know. She was left
completely to her own devices.
Leena walked gingerly into the security office but relaxed when
she did not see anyone. There would be fewer complications. Part of
Tom's personnel file had a security access lock attached to it. Although she wouldn't look out of place in the office, she didn't know
if she could explain to anyone why she was accessing restricted records. She chewed her lip anxiously as she brought up the relevant file
directory. There was a chance her authorization codes were high enough
to access the protected data, but she wouldn't risk accessing the files
from her quarters. Lt. Tuvok would have questions for her if she failed
to get in. At least by using the security office she might have an
easier time trying to convince someone that she was only doing her job.
She felt a little uneasy about the extra time needed to open a
connection into the security archives. The necessary authorizations and
data encryption increased the chances of someone walking into the office
by chance and catching her. When the interface finally cleared she
breathed a small sigh of relief. The toughest part was done, but the
task was far from finished. She pulled up Tom's file and began to read. It included information from his incarceration in New Zealand.
"Identification...cell designation...counselling schedule...work
rehabilitation assignments...." Leena rifled through several screens of
data. Nothing seemed too far out of the ordinary, yet she had a feeling
she was missing something. Then it hit her. The number of records in
Tom's medical health report seemed unusually high compared to his time
served. She opened the report and carefully reviewed it. Work-related
injury. Work-related injury. Recreational injury. Work-related
injury. There were several such entries, ranging in severity from minor
to serious. "Oh, my god."
Now she knew why Tom was so hesitant about returning to the Alpha
Quadrant.
"I still think we'd be better off designing a new shuttlecraft,"
Tom argued, flipping the padd around to face his two friends. "We can
take advantage of the transwarp engines by constructing an optimally
aerodynamic body."
"That's fine if you want to use up at least six months to build
one, not to mention all the resources that would go into it," B'Elanna
said. "It would be a hell of a lot more efficient to just refit the
engines into the Cochrane. It was already designed for travelling at
high warp velocities."
"I have to agree with B'Elanna," Harry added. "The captain would
never consent to us building an entire shuttlecraft from scratch, not
for what she considers a low priority research assignment."
Tom didn't like it, but he knew when he was outmatched. He sighed
in defeat. "All right, fine."
B'Elanna smirked. "You just want to have your own shuttle, don't
you?"
Tom feigned offense. "Definitely not! Voyager could always use
another shuttle."
Harry and B'Elanna exchanged glances. "Right," she cynically
answered.
Before Tom could reply the door chime sounded. Nonplussed, he
looked to the door, then back at Harry and B'Elanna. "Excuse me a
minute," he said, standing. He walked over to the door and pressed a
control to release the door's locking mechanism. He froze when the
doors slid open. Calloway was staring right back at him.
The moment of shock quickly passed, and Tom's expression darkened. "What do you want?" To his interest Leena looked almost afraid of
speaking.
"Is it all right if...I was wondering if I could talk to you for a
few minutes. Are you busy?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I am," he retorted. "I'm very busy."
"Don't be rude, Tom," B'Elanna called from behind him. Tom wasn't
aware that they had been talking loud enough to be overheard. "We were
just finishing up anyway." She suddenly appeared behind his shoulder
and spoke directly to Leena. "Harry and I can leave you two alone, if
you want."
"Thank you, Lieutenant. That's very considerate of you."
"Hey, now wait a minute." Tom faced B'Elanna indignantly. "Since
when did you start making my decisions for me?"
She completely ignored him. "Come on, Harry, why don't we start
installing the transwarp engines into the Cochrane?"
Tom watched, open-mouthed, as his two formerly closest friends
stepped around him and out the door. "Later, Tom," Harry said over his
shoulder as he disappeared down the hall.
Tom was incensed by their desertion, and the person responsible
for it was standing in front of him. "You must really enjoy putting
things to an end."
"Tom, please, don't be like this." Leena shifted uncomfortably.
"I know I was treating you unfairly and I'm sorry."
"Spare me your apologies, Calloway. I've accepted the reality
that nothing I do will ever appease you."
"That's only because I didn't understand. Now, I do."
A sense of foreboding gripped Tom. "What are you talking about?"
he asked uncertainly.
Leena checked over her shoulders to make sure no one would
overhear. "They beat you, didn't they, the other prisoners?"
The feeling of ice water ran over his skin. He snatched Leena's
arm and yanked her through the doorway. She squeaked in surprise as she
found herself flung halfway across the room. "How the hell did you find
out about that?"
"So, it's true," she said once she regained her composure.
"I didn't tell anyone about that, not even the captain."
"I read the medical reports in your prison file and put two and
two together. There's no way a pilot with your classification could be
so clumsy as to experience the number of accidents you did." She leaned
against the back of a chair, looking hesitant to sit. "No wonder you're
reluctant to return home; you're worried that they'll start abusing you
again if you're forced to go back to New Zealand."
"That file is supposed to be restricted." Tom became furious when
he realized the magnitude of her invasion of his privacy. "What right
did you have to access it without my permission?"
"Do you really think you'd have given me permission when you
wouldn't even tell me about it yourself?" She sighed. "Look, I'm
sorry. I should have asked first. Neither one of us has been acting
very maturely the last two weeks."
"I don't believe you! Security officers are supposed to prevent
people from breaking into protected files, not do it themselves."
"Well, what else was I supposed to do?"
"Keeping your nose out of my business would have been a good
start. There are some things about my life I'd prefer people didn't
know. I have no desire to become the object of pity to everyone."
"So it's better that you be an object of scorn instead?"
The argument rested on that for a few moments. Tom wanted to tear
a strip off her for carelessly disregarding his privacy, but depression
sapped his spirit. Leena really hadn't changed at all since the day he
met her. She was still driven, still more concerned with chasing facts
than facing reality. He sat down on the sofa before his legs gave out. "Why are you doing this to me?"
"Tom, I didn't do it to hurt you. I...I think I've developed
feelings for you."
She sounded so serious Tom couldn't help but laugh. "You're a
lousy liar, Calloway." He looked up quickly, hoping to catch the
embarrassed expression on her face. It wasn't there, however. Leena
looked just as serious as she had sounded. Tom instantly sobered. "You
mean that."
"The only lie I've told was the one I was telling myself." She
bowed her head, embarrassed. "The idea of us being together scared me
to death. It's no secret that you've played around. I was worried that
I'll just be another one of your toys that gets tossed aside when you're
done playing with it."
A tense moment of silence passed. Tom wasn't sure how to respond. Then Leena looked up, and her eyes entranced him. "I thought it would
be easier if we didn't get too close, but every time I looked for more
faults you showed me something more attractive. I still think you're
trouble, but I find myself thinking that you might be worth it."
Leena felt the anxiety knot in her chest as she stood there in the
middle of Tom's living room. She had finally exposed what she had been
denying all this time, and Tom wasn't saying a thing. Maybe I waited
too long. I pushed him away so many times, but he always came back for
more. I just assumed he'd keep coming. "I understand if you're still
upset about what I did, but I only wanted to help you the same way
you've helped me."
He turned away, unable to look at her. His silence was crushingly
painful. It didn't look like he would ever forgive her. No second
chances for Leena Calloway. She supposed she deserved that, though,
considering how she'd treated him. She emitted a heavy sigh of defeat
and turned for the exit.
"You weren't exactly right."
Leena stopped before the door opened, but didn't turn around. "About what?"
"About New Zealand, the penal colony."
A swell of emotion caught in Leena's throat. She turned around. He was still sitting, looking away. "You weren't beaten?"
"No, I was beaten, all right." He finally turned back to her, and
their eyes locked. "But it wasn't just the other prisoners."
Leena's face drained of all colour at his announcement, not that
Tom could blame her. It had come as a complete shock to him as well
when he first learned of it - a very painful lesson, at that. "But...that's not possible. They're Starfleet officers."
Tom gave her the offer to sit before she fell over. "Funny, I was
thinking the same thing the first time they decided to 'help' me with
one of my work assignments."
She shook her head in disbelief. "But why? I mean, the other
inmates I could understand, but the guards? Why would they do that?"
"I'm surprised you don't know the answer to that already. These
two guys were very loyal to the Federation, and they didn't take too
kindly to the fact that I was a Maquis who used to be a member of
Starfleet. They'd always handle me a little more roughly than the other
guys whenever I was put on their watch. When they caught a couple of
guys taking a few rounds out of me, though, that's when they decided to
get in on the action themselves. They'd make sure to look the other way
for a little while or they'd hand it out themselves in a secluded area,
and they threatened that they'd have me put in solitary if I ever spoke
to anyone about what was going on." Tom shivered at the recollection. "Those four months were a nightmare. I think the doctors got suspicious
about the frequency of my visits and did some of their own checking,
because all of a sudden I never saw those two work on the same shift
again."
"Oh, god, Tom, I'm sorry. It must have been awful."
Leena looked ready to sweep him into a gushing embrace. It was
tempting, but this was definitely not the way he wanted it to happen. "Don't," he snapped coldly, holding a hand up to stop her. "You wanted
to know the truth, so I told you. I'm not looking for pity or sympathy. I just want to forget it happened. You got me?"
To her credit, Leena kept her emotions in check, though he was
sure she would cry if allowed the opportunity. "Of course."
He nodded, trustful of her word, and stood up. "I'll see you to
the door."
She lifted herself up somewhat reluctantly and once again walked
to the exit. "You don't know how much your confidence means to me,
Tom." She stopped as the doors opened and looked deep into his eyes. "I'm glad you gave me this chance." She took a step toward him and
placed a soft kiss on his cheek, then left the room. Tom was still
blushing furiously when the computer decided he wasn't leaving the room
and automatically closed the doors.